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He's Scared, She's Scared: Understanding the Hidden Fears That Sabotage Your Relationships
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List Price: $15.00
Our Price: $10.20
Your Save: $ 4.80 ( 32% )
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Manufacturer: Dell
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Average Customer Rating:  
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Binding: Paperback
Dewey Decimal Number: 158
EAN: 9780440506256
ISBN: 0440506255
Label: Dell
Manufacturer: Dell
Number Of Items: 1
Number Of Pages: 352
Publication Date: 1995-01-02
Publisher: Dell
Release Date: 1995-01-02
Studio: Dell
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Editorial Reviews:
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Stating that the fear of commitment is a difficulty experienced by many contemporary couples, a guide for individuals who are looking for satisfactory relationships offers advice on balancing intimacy and independence. Reprint. Tour. PW.
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Spotlight customer reviews:
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Customer Rating: 
Summary: it begins with a step, and for me this was it
Comment: like one reviewer said, it's not the book to fix the house, but I found it helpful to show me where I've possibly gone wrong. There's a deeper problem though at work, and it's societal. Our culture suffers from speed dating and instant gratification. and Commitment and a desire to risk sustained effort seems lacking out there, even in myself. I know, it's tough, when you've been hurt, but it's part of a larger epidemic, and things won't change until we start.. this book in my estimation, and for me, was a good start.. and I can recommend it for that.. but please don't finish there.. we've got to sort through the muddle, and our own bitterness, heartache, apathy, etc.... and most of all be willing to make more mistakes and have understanding.. of ourselves and others..
Customer Rating:
Summary: Only Part of the Answer
Comment: I highly recommend this book and wish it had been suggested to us much sooner. In my experience I did have to finally walk away. Thank God my "commitment-phobic" boyfriend of several years continued to meet with a counselor even after I left (he had agreed to meet together prior to my leaving but continued making hurtful choices). After our break up he continued the counseling and the counselor had him read this book which was like turning on a light. My boyfriend is now my loving and devoted husband and father to our infant son. I think it took an extreme amount of prayer, a desire on both our parts to stop destructive patterns (for me it was recognizing my worth and being willing to walk away) and the support of an experienced, knowledgeable counselor. The book was invaluable but it is only a part of the healing process.
Customer Rating:
Summary: This is the most useful book I have ever read...
Comment: And I have read a lot of self-help books the last 15 years, because I was sensing that there are a lot of things about me I want to improve but never having even a suspicion WHY I was unable to accomplish any goal of mine and why I was so much interested in the study of psychology and never seriously pursued it.
I purchased this book thinking that maybe I could understand what's going on with the man I love. When I took it in my hands and read the back cover, I froze and then THE question took form in my head: Did I buy it for me?...It had never crossed my mind that I would suffer from CP and I am 40+. I started reading the book and all of sudden everything became clear to me. All of my choices, feelings, behaviors, attitudes, all of my dead-end infatuations where dictated by my commitmentphobia. Even my marriage with a CP man, of course.
I want to thank first my subconscious for choosing this book and second the writers who did such an excellent job. I have a lot of work to do with myself now...
I don't know if YOU, the interested customer is going to benefit as much as I did, I don't know even if you will be able to appreciate it, as I see there are people who rejected it. However, I definitely know that I am deeply grateful to the writers. It's almost impossible to meet them and just thank them, so I use this space to do it and hope I will help them sell more copies and HELP more people. I intend to buy more titles by them.
Customer Rating:
Summary: Then what?
Comment: This book provided me with a lot of insights on what the problem is in regards to being a "passive" or a person in denial of commitment. However, it does not do a good job on moving the person from the "recognizing" stage. It described with much detail what happens during the plot as it were a soap opera, which indeed can get into that kind of drama. Yet, telling the reader - go for therapy, something most people don't want to hear or if they are conscious about it, they, most likely have tried before. I will say that the plot, or the middle of the book, is very exciting and intriguing, but the end is too disappointing and hopeless. For those of you looking for a more PROACTIVE look of relationships and to improve their communication skills and feeling more confident look for Keri Newell's interviews and books. She is a relationships coach in Southern California. Best wishes. p.s. There's a reason why this book is sold used for $2.
Customer Rating:
Summary: simple truths that will change how you view your relationships
Comment: This book was recommended to me by a friend whose relationship it saved. I read it and was amazed at how it resonated. You think you are so unique and then you read sections that are basically word-for-word recaps of conversations you have had with your partner and realize you are textbook after all. Its comforting and discomforting at the same time... I have recommended it to several more friends and each comes back to me with amazement at how right on it is. It is a book that I return to again and again to gain perspective on my actions.
A favorite example of its wisdom: "Commitment is the promise to participate in a well-intentioned, monogamous, open-ended, responsible, and realistic relationship." Now that doesn't seem so scary, does it?
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